A SAMPLE OF THE BOOK2018-10-05T15:31:04+00:00

A SAMPLE FROM THE BOOK!

Former FBI Director James Comey Accuses Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg Of Sexual Harassment

Progressive women in DC recently voted the former head of the FBI James Comey as the sexiest man in Washington.  Allegedly this did not go unnoticed by Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg.  The entire lurid tale is told to the investigators in an interview at police headquarters.  Sir Telsunn Margraves was fortunate to be secretly ensconced in a room viewing the interview through a two-way mirror.  The former FBI Director Comey tells the interrogators of his attempt to buy Justice Ginsburg’s Hummer.  The outcome was truly upsetting and unnerving for Mr. Comey in light of all the sexual harassment claims that have become front page news!

Washington, DC – In recent days very disturbing articles have been published by certain news sources and reported in the New York Times and Los Angeles Times.  Columnist Nicole Serratore and writer Robin Abcarian have hurled accusations of sexual harassment at President Donald Trump related to his interaction with former FBI Director, James Comey.  The reports suggest that Director Comey experienced the same form of sexual harassment and molestation that many women experience every day in the workplace and elsewhere.

The authors of these articles reported that James Comey referenced an “intimate dinner” where the director was forced into “awkward silence” and the writers told of a “disgusting hug” that the president gave Comey during the dinner.  Mr. Comey even said that President Trump tried to get him alone and that made the director squirm.  He confided that he was forced to hide behind a curtain so that he could not be personally violated.  Ms. Serratore and Ms. Abcarian both likened this outward display of affection by the president to the type of sexual harassment some women experience when they interact with strong and powerful men. Mr. Comey has also indicated that he felt frightened and violated by the mere fact that the President of the United States, Donald Trump, hugged him.

In a separate item, it has also been reported that among progressive and liberal women, former FBI Director James Comey is now considered the sexiest man in Washington DC.  Both the NY Times and the LA Times are quick to point out that the facts reported are from unnamed sources.

In recent days Mr. James Comey has experienced another alleged episode of sexual harassment that he considered so vile and prurient that he was forced to file a police report in hopes of getting an order of protection. The following is a summary of various documents, police reports and interviews related to the alleged crime of sexual harassment as reported to the Washington DC Police Department by former FBI Director Comey.

Mr. Comey made the allegation after he had a private phone call and meeting with Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.  The purpose of the meeting was to ostensibly discuss the terms and conditions for purchasing Justice Ginsburg’s 2006 Hummer H3.

The following is a transcript of the initial interview that was recorded at 2:13AM, on June 2nd 2017 DC 2nd District Sector 10, PSA 2036.  Those present at the interview were Lt. Ralph Feltonne, Officer Jason Marvex, Officer Silvia Thomas, and the accuser, Mr. James Comey.

  • Feltonne – Good evening Mr. Comey, my name is Ralph Feltonne, I am a Lieutenant with the Washington DC Metro Police Department. The others present are Officers Jason Marvex and Sylvia Thomas. I am here to ascertain certain facts related to the alleged crime of sexual harassment that you have filed with the department.
  • Comey – I understand.
  • Feltonne – Please state your full name for the record
  • Comey – James Brien Comey Jr. that’s’ B R I E N.
  • Feltonne – I thought Brian was spelled with an “a” and not an “e”
  • Comey – It can be, but my parents spelled it with an “e”
  • Feltonne – Well, that does appear a bit strange, but let’s move on; are your married Mr. Comey?
  • Comey – Yes, happily married to my lovely wife Patrice and that’s what makes this all the more tawdry, I…
  • Feltonne – Please Mr. Comey, we’ll get to that in a little while but first I need to get some personal information.
  • Comey – I understand.
  • Feltonne – Do you have any children?
  • Comey – Yes I have five kids. I don’t know how to tell them about all this…(At this juncture in the interview Mr. Comey’ complexion appears to be turning a light shade of green)
  • Feltonne – Mr. Comey, are you feeling alright?
  • Comey – I…I don’t feel so good. I’m feeling a little queasy.  May I have a glass of water?
  • Feltonne – Of course, Officer Marvex, would you mind getting a glass of water for Mr. Comey?
  • Officer Marvex – No problem lieutenant. (Officer Marvex reaches into the refrigerator in the interview room and hands a bottle of water to Mr. Comey) Here you go Mr. Comey.
  • Comey – Thank you very much. (Mr. Comey takes a long drink from the bottle)
  • Lt. Feltonne – Mr. Comey would you like to take a break before we continue as there may be some difficult questions that we will need to ask?
  • Mr. Comey – No, I’d rather continue. I will try to be strong.
  • Feltonne – That’s good now, how old are you Mr. Comey?
  • Comey – I am 56 years old
  • Feltonne – Where do you currently reside?
  • Comey – Washington DC (He asked that the actual address he provided is kept off the record due to a fear of continued harassment by person or persons unknown. The actual address is being placed on file and will be kept confidential except for those with the requisite clearance.)
  • Feltonne – What is your occupation?
  • Comey – I am currently unemployed.
  • Feltonne – What was your last job?
  • Comey – I was the Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
  • Feltonne – Really?
  • Comey – Yes.

At this point I (Lt. Feltonne) change the focus of the interview to the events that took place earlier in the evening of June 1st 2017.

  • Feltonne – Mr. Comey, we will need to ascertain the chronological order of events that took place earlier this evening.
  • Comey – I understand.
  • Feltonne – Good, where do you allege the incident took place?
  • Comey – I don’t allege it took place, it actually took place.
  • Feltonne – I know you believe that, but before we have a chance to interview the other party and establish the facts we must assume that this is only an allegation. It is up to the courts to decide the truthfulness of the matter at hand.
  • Comey – I know, I know. I learned all this at FBI school, but I never thought it would actually happen to me.
  • Lt Feltonne – Now Mr. Comey, where do you allege the incident took place?
  • Mr. Comey – It all started with a call I placed to the offices of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg at Supreme Court of the United State Building, 1 First Street NE, Washington, DC.
  • Lt. Feltonne – You mean THE Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg?
  • Mr. Comey – (Heaves a deep and profound sigh) Yes.
  • Lt. Feltonne – You say she sexually harassed you in her office in the Supreme Court Building?
  • Mr. Comey – No, not there.
  • Lt. Feltonne – You mean she sexually harassed you at some other place?
  • Mr. Comey – Yes, but I need to explain what happened.
  • Feltonne – Sorry to interrupt, please continue.
  • Comey – It all began when I started looking for a used car to be able to drive the kids around in, you know to soccer games or for ice cream. I wanted something safe and large enough to accommodate my family.  I was reading the classified ads in the Federal Government Workers Daily when I spotted something I thought was perfect.
  • Lt. Feltonne – And what was that, Mr. Comey?
  • Mr. Comey – I saw an ad for a 2006 Hummer H3. It was metallic black, it was in great condition and it had less than 6,000 miles. Imagine only 6,000 miles and it was listed for just $12,995.  Well you can imagine how excited I was…
  • Lt. Feltonne – Please Mr. Comey, can we get back to the issues at hand.
  • Mr. Comey – Oh, sorry. I became excited and I wanted to see the car and take it for a test drive, so I called the number listed in the ad.
  • Lt. Feltonne – Did the number belong to Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg?
  • Mr. Comey – Yes, it was her office number.
  • Lt. Feltonne – And you dialed the number.
  • Mr. Comey – Yes, much to my regret.
  • Lt. Feltonne – Go ahead.
  • Comey – When I called, a Ms. Duncan picked up the phone and answered ‘Justice Ginsburg’s Office.’ I told Ms. Duncan that I was interested in a Hummer I saw advertised and that I would like additional information. I told her that I didn’t want to bother Justice Ginsburg and asked if there was some way I could get the information and a test drive.  Ms. Duncan said “I cannot divulge this and Justice Ginsburg is adamant about speaking to any prospective buyer personally.”
  • Feltonne – Personally?
  • Comey – Personally, much to my profound regret.
  • Feltonne – Go on.
  • Comey – Ms. Duncan put me through to Justice Ginsburg and she picked up the phone. I introduced myself as James Comey, former FBI Director, and she gave me a strange reply.
  • Feltonne – Strange reply? What was the strange reply?
  • Mr. Comey – She said that she knew who I was and that she liked the comely photos of me that she saw on MSNBC, CNN® and in the New York Times, Washington Post and LA Times as well as other news sources.
  • Feltonne – Comely photos? What does ‘comely’ mean?
  • Mr. Comey – You know, comely… pleasing and wholesome in appearance, attractive.
  • Lt. Feltonne – (I looked at Mr. Comey to see if Justice Ginsburg’s assessment was correct and I determined after a brief evaluation that she was correct) Mr. Comey, it appears Justice Ginsburg’s appraisal of you is correct, you are comely.
  • Comey – Excuse me Lieutenant, that isn’t the point.
  • Feltonne – Maybe not but I am trying to determine if Justice Ginsburg is being truthful, please continue.
  • Comey – Well I didn’t know how to respond, so I just thanked her and I let the comment go by. I wanted to turn the discussion back to the Hummer I wanted to buy from her.  I asked if she could tell me a little more about the Hummer.
  • Feltonne – What did she tell you about the Hummer.
  • Mr. Comey – This is where our discussion took a very strange twist.
  • Feltonne – What do you mean, ‘a strange twist’?
  • Comey – Well, I had a list of questions, but first she asked me if I ever had a Hummer before? I told here no, and she said, well you’ll never have a Hummer like my Hummer.
  • Feltonne – What did she mean by that?
  • Comey – I really didn’t understand at first, but I was hopeful that it would be a Hummer that I could enjoy, and you know what she said to me?
  • Feltonne – No
  • Comey – She said “Well, like I’ve said before, you’ve never had a Hummer like mine!” That comment made me hopeful, but I was somewhat confused by the enigmatic references to her Hummer.
  • Feltonne – It does seem puzzling to me too, please go on.
  • Comey – I tried to get the discussion back on track. I needed to know more about the Hummer, so I asked Justice Ginsburg if it was an automatic or a stick shift.

Mr. Comey stopped speaking and a far-away look seemed to come over him.  I let the moment linger so that Mr. Comey could gather his thoughts.  After it seemed to me that enough time had passed, I tried to get Mr. Comey’s attention.

  • Feltonne – Mr. Comey? Mr. Comey!
  • Comey – Huh? What?
  • Feltonne – What happened next?
  • Comey – Uh, well she told me that she loves to hold a stick when she drives’ or even when the car’s in park. I was a bit confused.
  • Feltonne – What were you confused about Mr. Comey?
  • Comey – I can’t see why you would hold a stick in park?
  • Officer Marvex – I think I know what she means!
  • Officer Thomas – So do I!
  • Feltonne – It isn’t important what you think Officers Marvex and Thomas; it’s only what Mr. Comey thinks that’s important. Mr. Comey what do you think she meant?
  • Comey – I can’t imagine. I used to drive a stick in some of my cars over the years, but I usually work it only when I am moving.  My wife also likes to use the stick in my car every now and then, but only in drive.
  • Feltonne – Was there anything else that you can remember about the conversation with Justice Ginsburg that could be significant in this alleged sexual harassment incident?
  • Comey – Yes.
  • Feltonne – What was it Mr. Comey?
  • Comey – I don’t know how significant you would consider this but Justice Ginsburg continually mentioned that there are reclining front seats, and that she was sure that I would like this feature of her Hummer.
  • Feltonne – Reclining seats, huh.
  • Comey – Yes. I told her that I probably would enjoy the Hummer more knowing the seats recline.
  • Feltonne – Good point. Anything else?
  • Comey – Yes, and that’s when things turned ugly!

Mr. Comey appears to get very agitated at this point and I suggest to him that we take a break, and he agrees. I offer Mr. Comey some more water and he politely declines and asks to use the men’s room.  Officer Marvex escorts Mr. Comey to the restroom while Officer Thomas and I wait.  After a half-hour, Officer Thomas and I became worried. We left the interview room to go find Officer Marvex, to determine what is taking so long.  We walk down the hall to see Officer Marvex standing by the men’s room door.  He tells us that he is waiting for Mr. Comey to finish whatever he is doing.  Officer Marvex notices that Mr. Comey is taking much longer than usual even for No. 2, so he opens the door slightly to make sure all was well.  When he does he could hear Mr. Comey whimpering in his stall.  Officer Marvex was unsure as what to do, so he speaks through the stall door and asks, “Is everything alright?”  Mr. Comey replies, “Yes, but can you just give me a moment longer.”  Officer Marvex answers, “Of course” and he leaves Mr. Comey alone.

I am just about to go into the restroom to see if Mr. Comey needs assistance but just at that moment I hear the toilet flush and the water running in the sink.  Mr. Comey comes out of the restroom wiping his face with a wet paper towel, looking pale and nauseous.  I express my concern to him and ask if he would like to postpone the interview until the morning.  He thinks about it for a moment and decides that he wants to continue.  We walk back to the interview room and take our seats.

  • Comey – Lieutenant Feltonne and Officers Marvex and Thomas I want to apologize for the excessive time I spent in the men’s room. I experienced a sudden bout of nausea as a result of what happened this evening and I’m afraid that it took me a long time to recover.
  • Feltonne – That is quite alright and understandable given the alleged trauma you had to endure. Shall we continue?
  • M Comey – Yes
  • Feltonne – Prior to our break you said, wait, I’ll read my notes; “…that’s when things got ugly.” What did you mean when you said that?
  • Comey – Justice Ginsburg and I spoke for a few minutes more and I asked her if I could take the Hummer for a test drive, you know, to see how it feels behind the wheel.
  • Feltonne – Sounds like that was the proper thing to do.
  • Comey – Let me tell you this right now, it was anything but proper.
  • Feltonne – What do you mean by that?
  • Comey – I suggested that I come to her home, or to wherever she wants over the weekend to experience the Hummer first hand, but Justice Ginsburg had a different suggestion. She said that we could meet later in the evening at a place that is a little friendlier.  Justice Ginsburg also implied that there might be someone else interested in her Hummer, and that if I wanted to be the first to get the Hummer that I must act quickly.
  • Feltonne – A little friendlier? What did she mean friendlier?
  • Comey – She suggested that we go someplace quiet where we could talk and I could get the complete Hummer experience. At first I was a bit taken aback, but I really wanted a Hummer so I told her that I would meet her at 7PM.
  • Feltonne – Where did you go to meet her?
  • Comey – Felix’s Dew Drop Inn.
  • Feltonne – I know that place, it’s the one on “Maple and 12th St NW.
  • Officers Marvex and Thomas – (said in unison) I know that place too!
  • Feltonne – So what happened next?
  • Comey – I called my wife and told her about going to look at the Hummer, and that I would not be home for dinner. I told her that the car belonged to Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Patrice was very impressed.
  • Feltonne – So let me get this straight, you agreed to meet Justice Ginsburg at Felix’s Dew Drop Inn at 7PM that evening.  You call your wife and tell her that you’re going to see the car and you won’t be home for dinner.  Is that essentially correct?
  • Comey – Yes, except for one thing.
  • Feltonne – What was the one thing?
  • Comey – I memorialized the essence of my phone conversation in a private memo to myself. I didn’t mention it to Patrice because I wanted this available in case anything sinister happens to me.
  • Feltonne – Sinister?
  • Comey – Well, you can’t blame me for wanting to protect myself in case the worst happens.
  • Feltonne – Worst happens? What did you suspect might happen?
  • Comey – That’s just it, I couldn’t even imagine what might happen so I wanted to be sure I was protected.
  • Feltonne – Ah, well if you couldn’t imagine what might happen then why did you agree to meet Justice Ginsburg
  • Comey – Because the opportunity to get the Hummer from her was worth the risk.
  • Feltonne – I guess…go on.
  • Comey – It was only 5PM when I hung up from my call. As I wouldn’t be home for dinner, I went to Stavros’ 24 Hour Greek Diner across the street from my office and had something to eat.  I wanted to eat light so I just had a cheese sandwich with organic mustard on gluten-free bread, a small kale and quinoa salad with no dressing and Nik-L-Nips for dessert.
  • Feltonne – Nik-L-Nips? What are Nik-L-Nips?
  • Comey – You know, those little wax bottles that are filled with flavored syrup. You suck the syrup out of the bottle.  Sometimes I even chew the wax especially if there is still some syrup that won’t come out.  There was this one time…
  • Feltonne – Please Mr. Comey, let’s get back to your account of the incident
  • Comey – Oh, sorry. Well, as Felix’s Dew Drop Inn is about a 30 minute drive, I left the diner about 6:30PM in order to be there to meet Justice Ginsburg at 7PM.  I felt that the traffic would be light at that time, so I didn’t think it was necessary to allot for additional time.
  • Feltonne – Go on, please.
  • Comey – I had never been to this particular lounge before. I was a bit taken aback by the overall appearance of the place.  After all, I was meeting with an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States of America.
  • Feltonne – Why were you taken aback? What was the appearance that didn’t seem to meet with your expectations?
  • Comey – The first thing I noticed was the neon sign that was prominently displayed on the roof over the door. There were a number of letters not lit, so it just read “F…IXS …EW DR…P INN.”  In addition there was an outline of a buxom woman, also lit in neon, and it appeared the lights were out on one of her breasts.  As you can imagine, this was a bit surprising to me.
  • Feltonne – Of course.
  • Officers Marvex and Thomas – Of course.
  • Comey – It was not very late and as I understand it, Felix’s doesn’t really get crowded until much later in the evening, so I was able to park my car in one of the spaces near the front door. I would later lament that this was the only lucky thing I would encounter for the rest of the evening.
  • Feltonne – Did you go inside, or did you meet Justice Ginsburg outside in the parking lot?
  • Comey – I met her inside. The bar is very dark as if the lighting was meant to convey a certain mood.
  • Feltonne – Mood? What do you mean certain mood?
  • Comey – It looked as if Felix wanted to create a seductive atmosphere. I looked around and although it was hard to see, I spotted Justice Ginsburg sitting in a booth located in a dark corner of an already dark bar.  I walked over to her and introduced myself, and quite frankly I was shocked by what I saw.
  • Feltonne – What, what did you see that so shocked you?
  • Mr. Comey – Justice Ginsburg was sitting, alluringly, on one side of the wooden booth. She was wearing an extremely low cut dress that, much to my chagrin, nearly exposing one of her breasts.  Unlike her official Supreme Court photo, she was wearing her long, wavy hair down and she had chosen a ruby red lipstick and dark eyeliner.  My face turned red, but I am sure that Justice Ginsburg couldn’t tell because it was so dark.  She gave me a smile and asked me to sit down.  When I moved to sit opposite her in the booth, she suggested something very disturbing.
  • Lt. Feltonne – Disturbing?
  • Mr. Comey – Yes, she said, and I quote, ‘Why don’t you sit next to me?’ I was dumbfounded and didn’t know how to react.  There were no curtains in the place and I guess that Justice Ginsburg saw my dismay and she clarified.
  • Lt. Feltonne – Clarified?
  • Mr. Comey – She told me that she had the complete servicing records and some of the original brochures of the car. Even though I was somewhat reticent, I agreed and sat down beside her to be able to review the documents.
  • Feltonne – What happened then?
  • Comey – Just as I sat down a waitress came over to the table and asked us what we wanted to drink. Justice Ginsburg ordered a vodka martini, very dry with 4 olives. I ordered a plain ice tea with sugar substitute on the side.  Sometimes pure cane sugar doesn’t dissolve quickly…
  • Lt Feltonne – Please Mr. Comey, just the pertinent details.
  • Comey – Oh, sorry. Justice Ginsburg did ask me if I wanted something stronger but I thought that I needed to keep my wits about me so I declined.  The waitress returned with our drinks and Justice Ginsburg suggested we toast.
  • Feltonne – Who gave the toast?
  • Comey – She did.
  • Feltonne – What was the toast?
  • Comey – She said “Here’s to the best damned Hummer you could ever have!” We clinked glasses and took sips from our drink.  It was what happened next that disgusted me to no end.
  • Feltonne – What was that Mr. Comey?
  • Comey – I was about to ask to see the documents when she reached under the table. I assumed that she was going for the list records of oil changes, but it was then I felt a hand glide along the top of my leg.  I gulped and looked at Justice Ginsburg and she just smiled at me.

At this time I think that it is important to note that Mr. Comey’s accusation was quite shocking to me as well as Officers Marvex and Thomas.  As officers of the law we constantly confront the most despicable of crimes and aberrant behavior but this was among the vilest any of us have had the misfortune to investigate.  Mr. Comey seemed to recognize our dismay and continued to speak.

  • Comey – Lt. Feltonne and Officers Marvex and Thomas, I detect your complete and utter revulsion at what I’ve had to experienced and I thank you for your sympathy and understanding.
  • Feltonne – Mr. Comey I think it would be best if we continued. What happened next?
  • Comey – I got a hold of myself and gave Justice Ginsburg the benefit of the doubt.

I said to her “Can I see the oil change history?”  She just looked alluringly at me and said, “Oil keeps the rods real slick! That’s why I made sure all my rods are always oiled and slick. Know what I mean?” and she winked at me. I really didn’t know what she meant, but I said that I like it when my rods are slick.

  • Feltonne – She winked at you?
  • Comey – Yes and smiled!
  • Feltonne – and smiled?
  • Mr. Comey – (Mr. Comey’s chest heaves as he says) I’m so ashamed.
  • Feltonne – Mr. Comey, please take time to come to grips with your emotions, and when you are ready, please continue.
  • Mr. Comey – Thank you, but I want to continue now. I want the world to know what I’ve gone through.
  • Feltonne – That’s very brave of you, please tell us what happened next.
  • Comey – Justice Ginsburg then took the opportunity to move closer to me under the pretext of showing me a dealer invoice that indicated the motor mounts had been changed. She also suggested that we go outside and take a look at the car and take a test drive. Well, against my own better judgement, I agreed and we left Felix’s Dew Drop Inn and exited the front door.
  • Feltonne – Where was the car parked?
  • Comey – It was parked in a dark corner of the lot under a river birch. Those are the trees that have the white bark that peels and it looks like it’s dying but…
  • Feltonne – Please Mr. Comey, just stick to the details of the alleged incident.
  • Comey – Oh, sorry. Well I walked with Justice Ginsburg to the car and joked, telling her I that I wanted to see if her Hummer was all it was cracked up to be.  I mentioned to her that it was awfully dark and that I don’t know if I could see any scratches on her rear end.  Justice Ginsburg assured me that her rear end was in great condition, and I could have all the time I wanted to check out her rear end.
  • Feltonne – Well that seems reasonable to me.
  • Comey – It seems reasonable to me too, however, that was the myth…now here is the reality!
  • Feltonne – Reality?
  • Comey – Yes, it was all a clever ruse to get me into the car.
  • Feltonne – What happened when she got you into the car?
  • Comey – (Mr. Comey’s chest heaves again. He appears very uncomfortable at having to tell us what happened)  I…I don’t know how to say this.

Lt. Feltonne – Mr. Comey I know that this is very difficult for you, but I need to know what happened or I can’t take action to determine guilt or innocence among the parties involved.

  • Comey – She insisted that I take the driver’s seat, and it immediately became apparent to me that her obsession with the reclining bucket seats had a very sinister purpose. The moment I sat down the driver’s seat it careened backwards, and I found myself in a horizontal position staring at the Hummer’s tufted ceiling.  I didn’t realize that this model of Hummer had the deluxe ceiling…
  • Feltonne – Please Mr. Comey, stay with the pertinent facts and details…
  • Comey – I became very unnerved and started to shake when I heard Justice Ginsburg whisper, ‘Ready for the full Hummer experience!’ I didn’t know what to do, so I started to grab for the door knob and planned my escape from this den of iniquity.
  • Feltonne – Iniquity? What’s iniquity?
  • Comey – You know, immorality, heinousness, evil, sinful.
  • Feltonne – Ok, got it.
  • Comey – It was dark, but I could sense Justice Ginsburg’s leering eyes looking over my body, as if I was some piece of meat. I felt so violated. I was unable to open the car door, as it seemed that Justice Ginsburg’s depravity knew no bounds.  She had automatically locked the doors, and I was like the Prisoner of the Zenda, except I wasn’t in Ruritania and I wasn’t a King and I didn’t have a body double and…
  • Feltonne – Please Mr. Comey, I must ask you to stick with the facts related to the incident
  • Comey – Sorry…I finally was able to push the unlock button and I heard the click that was like music to my ears. I estimated that I was 30 yards from my car.  Given my height, 6 feet 8 inches and a stride greater than most, I estimated I could make the run in 20 steps or less.  Justice Ginsburg appeared to be barely 5 feet tall, so it would take her at least 35 to 40 steps to catch me. I also thought that I would take my car keys out on the way and use this opportunity to escape.
  • Feltonne – Mr. Comey, did Justice Ginsburg follow you?
  • Comey – I didn’t bother to check to see if she was following me I just ran and ran and got into my car. Unfortunately, I hit the gas very hard and the rear wheels of the car spun out.  Felix’s Dew Drop Inn parking lot had pebbles instead of asphalt and the pebbles scratched the fenders of my car.  I never looked back, and I decided to come here to report this immediately.
  • Feltonne – Well you’ve had quite some evening and I want to commend you for your bravery and intestinal fortitude at having to endure such a violation of your body and personal space. I will have this interview transcribed and ask you to sign it, and we will issue a warrant to question Justice Ginsburg and get to the bottom of this.
  • Comey – Thank you Lieutenant, I would like to have an order of protection so that Justice Ginsburg will never darken my doorsteps again. Perhaps my actions taken will stop this from happening to some poor unsuspecting person looking for a Hummer from this woman.
  • Feltonne – Well, we’ll see Mr. Comey, we’ll see.

Update:  Fake News has learned from an unnamed source that Justice Ginsberg categorically denies any involvement in the accusation of the alleged incident related to the yet to be proven and heretofore undocumented assertion that she has even contemplated the clandestine meeting with the former FBI director.

An unnamed source is also quoted as saying that Justice Ginsberg has never been to Felix’s Dew Drop Inn and has never even known it existed.  She may have driven by the lounge but she never got out of her car and never had a drink there.  The source is also quoted as saying the Justice Ginsberg hates dry martini’s especially with four olives.